you don't have to wake up a totally different person tomorrow
let's say goodbye to the pressure and like, be nice to ourselves
Warning: there will be plenty of hot takes in this letter and if you’re not ready for some of my truth then you should probably go take a look at these brownies or this savory oatmeal instead.
For those remaining, I’m starting this post immediately with hot take no.1 (wait this should be a perfume name…thoughts?) To me, New Year’s is the most overhyped, overrated, holiday of the entire year. I know I sound like a grinch but seriously…does anyone out there dislike New Year’s as much as I do? Is there a more anticlimactic, disillusioning moment than the clock striking midnight? To the shock of absolute no one and especially not to myself, tonight I will be voluntarily, happily, sitting on my couch, under a blanket, ordering takeout with my family (but yeah, if you really want to know, I’ll eat the 12 grapes under the table at midnight for good luck, or whatever). The spark notes of this paragraph is: you could not drag me to a NYE party if my life depended on it. I’d rather go out with whatever the opposite of a bang is, and also without wearing one of those 2025 glasses.
Hot take no. 2... I’ve always found that the consistent, pervasive resolution messaging we’re served over and over of transforming, magically, into a new person the second the clock strikes midnight pushes us to invalidate the worthiness of who we are right in this moment, and creates this insane, inordinate pressure to better ourselves in ways that are extreme, unsustainable, and frankly, stressful. There is SO much focus on the next year, that I think we mentally erase the progress we’ve made and the moments of pride we’ve experienced in the past year — no matter how big or small. Who wants to wake up on January 1 and be anxious about everything they need to do in the year, already?
Also I’m laughing at my mom’s text to me after I shared this letter with her:
An alternate, likely more difficult, albeit better route is Hot take no. 3. What if…we choose to be okay with exactly where we are right now, while also moving toward the things we want in the future? To me, this sort of radical acceptance is the only way you can achieve any sort of success in life. You literally cannot hate yourself into a version of you that you’ll love. I’m sure we’ve all tried, and it categorically does not work.
In the midst of me being a hater, I also just want to add that if making resolutions work for you, that’s AMAZING and I’m so proud of you. Because let me be clear — goals are amazing. We should always have them and ALWAYS work to better ourselves, 100%. There’s not a single day that goes by where I don’t hope that I can do everything I did today, in a better way the next day. But for literally every single person in my life, resolutions themselves are often a source of stress and pressure, containing efforts that get disbanded within the first month of the year because we make them without our true self in mind. And that’s okay, because we are human. So we should treat ourselves as such, no?
I’ve written this post a million times because I didn’t know which direction I wanted to take it in, but I guess all I really wanted to share was how I try think about a New Year amid all of this “attainable resolutions you can actually keep!” stuff, and just to remind you that you do not have to be a brand new and improved person tomorrow. You are exactly where you’re meant to be, and at an amazing starting place for everything else you want in your life. Little steps still move you forward…
This is just how I operate and if this doesn’t work for you, that is okay! I hope though, that this gives you some space to be proud of your year and excited about what the next can bring without stress & pressure.
intentions
Big & small life goals are amazing, and you can and should have them for every category of your life! But for the new year, instead of 12 lofty resolutions, I like to set a couple of general intentions and make sure every action, choice, or step that I take in the new year lines up with these umbrella thoughts.
For example, if your intention is to meet new people, how are you putting yourself in a position to do that, week to week and month to month? Are you choosing to stay comfortable in your old routine orrrrr actively choosing to say yes to an invite, or initiating a plan to try a new restaurant either solo at the bar, or with someone you’ve been meaning to meet up with?
bite size it
James Clear territory, of course, but if you would like to make something a habit, or bring something into your life in the new year (let’s say, you want to practice yoga or meditate more), is your goal to go to yoga every single day for the entire year, or meditate for 2-3 hours each day? No. And it shouldn’t be. Start SMALL. And I mean, smaller than you even think. 5 minutes a day. Start there. And then, if there are days you feel like you can do more, great! If not, that’s okay. Small steps are still steps, and even 5 minutes is better than creating a goal so large that the fear of not doing it in its entirety makes you not want to do it at all. And, if you miss a day or two that’s OKAY. There’s a difference between quitting and stopping. Quitting implies you’ll never start again. Stopping is normal and happens all the time.
promises
Keep the promises you make to yourself. It’s as simple as that. If you tell yourself you want to do something for you, do it. You spend most of your time with yourself - so be a trustworthy person that you can rely on.
stop judging yourself
Whether you make a mistake, wished you had done something differently, or simply are being mean to yourself for not having done X, Y, Z — have some compassion for YOU, the same way you do for others. Your life will be better if you treat yourself like a loved one — judgment keeps you stuck. Sometimes I like to step outside my own head and attempt to watch my life as an outside observer. It often gives me perspective and forces me to think differently about what I’m experiencing.
if you were meant to be somewhere else, you’d be there right now
What if… you chose to believe that you are exactly at the place in life that you’re meant to be at? You aren’t privy to all the amazing things that are coming your way (because last time I checked, you aren’t a psychic), but that they’re en route, no question? I’ve found that there can always a negative outlook to be found — or a positive one, too. Which one will you choose ?
prompts & q’s (choose 1+ if you’re into it)
10 things I like about myself <3
3 times I was proud of myself in 2024 !
In / Outs of 2025
1 thing I avoided in 2024 that I’d like to take a step toward in 2025
One thing that the me on December 31, 2025 would regret not doing this year?
One activity I can do on January 1 or 2 that brings me joy (a walk, reading a book, sending a voice note to a friend, eating a meal you love)
1-2 people you’d like to spend more time with in 2025
veg-focused recipes to start your new year
tandoori chickpea tacos w/scallion-sunflower green chutney
creamy peanut-tahini noodles w/jammy eggplant
south Indian style carrot poriyal
Thank you for being here, for reading the letter or supporting my work in any other way. Whether you’ve been here for 9 years or 9 minutes, I have so much gratitude for you. Wishing you a healthy & happy new year with lots of abundance & love!
See you next year
x Samah
I saw this long after new years, but it's nice to know I'm not the only person who doesn't get hyped up for the calendar change.
thank you so much for writing this - boy, does it help to read it! All the best success for you, today & every day in 2025