i am done with being nice
2026 is for being strict! & here's how I'm doing it.
My friend was texting me today about a guy she’s seeing, and I had some…thoughts. Normally, I would keep them to myself so as to not to project too much of my own opinion, but more importantly to not hurt her feelings if she didn’t like my honest take. It’s not that I’m into lying (in fact, I’m not very good at it) I just…would have given 80% of my truth and omitted the rest. Not anymore. After saying my unfiltered piece, I told her “you can’t come to me for sweet advice anymore. It’s strict and tough, (but from love) lol.” I added the lol because I am still a reforming people pleaser who appreciates the soft landing of an end-of-sentence-lol. Whatever. We’re still working on it.
I can’t count the amount of times I’ve abandoned myself for the comfort of others. Told someone I’d go somewhere when I really didn’t want to, just not to disappoint them. It’s not that I didn’t want to go - I did! But it was for them, not for me. My mom used to tell me that I shouldn’t be so nice, because then people would walk all over me. I never got it. Why would a seemingly desirable trait end up in my own mistreatment? Well…hahaaaa I get it now. I am starting to understand that betraying yourself and your own boundaries only results in a slow erosion of self over time. Who wants that? NOT US!
I learned more unexpected lessons in 2025 than I ever wanted to learn (cue sweating emoji) - and not the cute way, but the hard and painful way. The worst kind in the moment, but the best kind in hindsight.
This isn’t what I normally write about, but honestly, I felt super called to write this more personal post to you, to share some lessons I’ve been learning from my time over the holidays doing some pretty life-changing self and inner child work (more on this below). Both have been eye-opening in showing me how I’ve been moving through the world - and how I can fix my usual mechanisms to live better and more for myself. I have learned a lot, and have summarized the main insights for you below — I hope this will help you as we all start a fresh new year. We can be nice, just nice with these caveats :)
